He's Already Been There

I was blessed to hear this encouraging thought on part of a radio show today while making lunch for my munchkins.

No matter what lies ahead of me today, Jesus, my Shepherd, has already gone ahead and prepared the way for me.

When Christ described himself as our Shepherd, the shepherding that the Israelites would have understood was this: The shepherd walks ahead of his sheep, clearing the way, looking for danger; not walking behind them as we would picture someone herding sheep. He would keep watch of his flock, and if they were struggling, he would pick up the youngest sheep, and carry it, and the flock would follow.

So, whatever lies ahead of me today, Jesus has already gone ahead of me and prepared the way. I do not need to fear the unkown, because it is known to Him. He's already been there. And if the path should get steep, or if I stumble and fall, I know He'll reach down, pick me up, and carry me through. All He asks is that I TRUST Him.

The author who was sharing these thoughts said that "we think that love is the most important thing that we can give to our Shepherd, but Trust is what Love looks like."

That got me to thinking...

how many times do I say I love Christ, but then don't really live like I'm trusting Him? And what does it really look like to trust? It's obedience without the whole picture in view. If I obey Him, regardless of circumstances, feelings, other people, then I am trusting God. I don't see what God is doing in the big picture, and I may not understand it at all. Trusting is doing what He asks of me regardless of my view.

It's the sheep following the shepherd and obeying his voice, even though they can't see what lies ahead.

It's being kind even though it looks like I've been offended.

It's serving even though it looks like I am unappreciated.

It's praying even though I feel like sleeping.

It's giving even though I feel poor.

It's lovingly interacting with my husband and children even though I'm worn out.

It's speaking even though I feel like being silent.

It's being silent even though I feel like speaking.

It's doing even though I'm pretty sure I'm insufficient for the task.

It's remaining calm even though I feel like blowing up.

It's being joyful even though I'm in pain.

It's going even though I want to stay.

It's staying even though I want to go.

It's teaching and training my children even though I don't see the results today.

The list could go on and on.

What would it look like for you to trust? Obedience, Trust, and Love go together and it's what our Shepherd wants from us.

3 Phantoms and an Angel

My husband was given 4 free tickets to an Adirondack vs. Rochester hockey game tonight. Since I am not a fan of hockey, I was fine with not being able to go. O-Man and I had a nice, quiet, fun night together here at home. The other 3 boys went with their daddy to the game.

After they left, I sat O-Man down to eat his supper, and he started to pray:

"Dear Jesus, the brothers went to a game, thank you for the food, I love Mommy, Jesus' name, Amen."

No, I did not add that in there. He prayed that all by himself. Sweet little boy. I think I said an audible "Awwwe!"

Then dessert: Girl Scout thin mint cookies, Samoas (which he calls "donuts") and "doreos" (his word for Oreos). Why do I have so many cookies in my house at the same time? No, I don't usually feed him more than one cookie for dessert, but did you read what he prayed?

Ok, then he told me that his cookie loves mommy. Wow, how did I get so lucky to get all the love?

Our special mommy and son night was off to a good start! After we did a load of laundry (Owen loves our new front loaders with the electronic control panel and insists he be the one to push the buttons.) We cuddled in the recliner and read books like Good Night Gorilla, The Monster at the End of this Book, This is the Way We Go to School and Corduroy. He picked out an interesting variety of subjet matter. Then "we" put together a Thomas the Tank Engine puzzle. I say we in parentheses, because he decided he'd rather just watch me do it, and then he insisted in putting in the last piece, so he could "do" the puzzle. And then he made me do it all over again.

We spent some time cuddling and chatting.

As I sat there enjoying him and feeling strange in such a quiet house and with only one child, it took me back to the days when Evan was our only child.....the quietness of our house then compared to now with 4 active boys....the "easiness" of having just 1 toddler. Seeing how angelic and quiet and well behaved Owen was tonight, reminded me of my little Evan. And I thought that each of our boys need more of this, time alone without their brothers occasionally. Owen was soaking it up. I really enjoyed the peace and quiet and the time alone with my baby. But, at the same time, the house was too quiet. I missed my other little men, their laughter, their ability to fill a home with constant activity and make sure that no moment is ever boring.

And then before we knew it, there was a knock at the door. And there they were....

the 3 little Phantoms.

They love their new hockey jerseys that they got free at the game. I thought they were just too cute, and they can probably wear them for years to come! Evan asked me if he can wear it every day...he was serious. Daddy warmed them up with some promised hot cocoa, and then changed into their pjs, they were marching around the living room chanting, "Let's go Phantoms!" So, I guess the game was a hit, although their father said they didn't spend that much time watching. But, at their age their attention span is kind of limited. I asked Ben if he's going back next Friday, and he didn't hesitate when he said, "No." Apparently, it was enough adventure for a little while. But, I give him a lot of credit for doing it, for braving the crowds with 3 little kids, and attempting to sit through a game with them. He gets the SuperDad award! They had fun on their game night with Daddy. But next time, "maybe just one boy" he said. :-)

A Most Unusual Drive-Thru Order

How many times have we, since moving to the area 8 years ago, driven through Albany on the interstate, but have never made the trek into the city? It is the state capitol after all, but we never really had reason to go there.

Following Derek's recent seizures, his doctor and a panel of pediatricians suggested he see a pediatric neurologist. And to see one you must travel an hour south to the city of Albany. Not knowing where I was going, I took Ben (and his GPS) with me. I didn't feel confident venturing into the city and finding my way through the large medical complex by myself with Derek. And I really wanted Ben to be able to be involved in this appointment with me. So, he took the afternoon off and the three of us braved an adventure. (Note to self....do not trust GPS 100%.)

We are so thankful for the physician that we met yesterday. She had a great "bedside manner" with Derek, and was very helpful to Ben and I in understanding seizures and how to care for a child who has them. I know I felt better and more at peace about it after consulting with her. She did a complete neurological exam on Derek (which was completely normal), but I don't think he even knew he was being "tested". She made it fun, and even let him spend quite a bit of time playing with her "flashlight". And I was very appreciative for her hesitancy to prescribe medicine for a 3 year old little boy. I was concerned about that. She wants to do more testing before deciding if meds are necessary, and reassured us that most childhood seizures are outgrown by adulthood.

He was a very good boy there, and actually had fun. On the way out the door, Derek said he was hungry for a snack. "I think we should go to McDonalds, " he stated. I think children instintively know to go for the fun stuff when they have a rare moment of mom and dad all to themselves! After the GPS took us a very long way out of our way and into rush hour traffic (next time I'm going to MapQuest the way back from the hospital!), we finally got to a McDonalds. Well, don't you know this very hungry boy who refused to nap on the way to the hospital was now asleep. I tried to wake him and ask him what he wanted. He was really out. "Do you want chicken nuggets, a strawberry shake, a pie?" He mumbled "yes". Great. "Which one would you like?" He mumbled again, and as I started giving him options again, he said, "Maybe some trash."

Good thing our drive thru attendant (who didn't seem to speak English very well) didn't over-hear that request, I wonder what we would have gotten!

I know many of you who read this blog have been asking about and praying for Derek since this began. Thank you for praying for him! We truly appreciate it! We're thankful to know that God is in control and that no detail of our son's life and development is unknown to him. The next step in diagnosis and care is to have a Sleep Deprived EEG later this month. Sounds like fun, huh? Depriving a 3 year old boy of sleep....who ever came up with that idea? :-)

and Percy, too!

If you are also a mom of a little boy who's obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine, you'll like this one.

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Today we were having Bible Class after lunch, sitting around the kitchen table. We are learning about the life of Christ, and today's lesson was on Jesus calling his disciples. We were reviewing, and I asked them to tell me one of the names of Jesus's disciples.

Evan says, "Thomas".

Carter's turn...."James",

and I should have seen it coming....

"Derek," I said, "can you name one?"

He shouts out very confidently, "Percy!"

We all burst out laughing. Apparently, I had lost Derek's attention during the lesson, and he thought we were naming steam engines! I'll have to thumb through my Bible, and see if I can find that disciple. :-)

Waiting for Mr. Wonderful

..ok it's 11:45pm, and my husband has still never made it home from work today. He's got the on-call duty this weekend at work. This looks to be a not so fun weekend for him and for me and the boys, but I suppose if I didn't have heat, I'd be happy to have him show up at my door at 11 o'clock at night. Hmmm...that gives me an idea. Can I sabotage the boiler and call the answering service to send their cutest and nicest tech to MY house? Just kidding, but it would be tempting. However, if I sabotaged our heating system, I think he'd be plenty unthrilled with me!

I tried to keep myself busy (who am I kidding...like I need to help the boys with that!) because I hate it when Ben's gone at night. I played several high stakes games of Thomas and Friends My First Uno with the boys. I sheepishly admit on my blog that I lost to a 3 year old....3 times!

Nana and Papa came over and ate Tomato Basil pizza and Strawberry Shortcake with us, so we at least had company for supper. I also hate to eat supper without Ben. There's not much I like to do without him! :-(

Funny of the day:

Earlier today, Owen was whining and I was trying to figure out what he was upset about. Then he finally said, "Derek hurt me...on 'poop'ose!" Guess I need to help him pronounce "purpose" correctly....but it was so cute and gave me a laugh.....which was something I needed today!

A Cutie Patootie

Owen woke up with this interesting hairdo after his nap. Funny how bed head looks adorable on kids, and awful on mom! I couldn't resist taking a picture of his little biff hair style. He is my little cutie patootie for sure.

This was him saying "Buzz Lightyear...to infinity and beyond!" pronouncing it like only a 2 year old can. (We're a little bit obsessed with Buzz in our house right now.)

Looking at these pictures, I again think he looks alot like my mother in law. I seem to be the only one that sees it, though. Don't worry, Gramma, it's not the hair! :-)

Where's my horses?

Sometimes, as a parent, it hits you how many figures of speech we use and don't even think about it. You're quickly reminded when your children don't get what you're saying and take you very literally.

Tonight Owen was being very impatient, as 2 year olds are prone to be. He tends to do something my mother-in-law calls "dinging", a habit I'm eager to help him break: Repeating himself over and over, impatiently "waiting" for you to act on his request or to give him your attention. His impatience was wearing thin on my nerves, and I said, "Owen, I'm working on it. Hold your horses." Wrong thing to say. Owen got very concerned and started dinging, "Hold my horses...hold my horses....(while looking through his basket of stuffed animals)....hold my horses....hold my horses.....Mommy, WHERE'S MY HORSES?"

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Joke of the day from the 3 year olds' peanut gallery:

Derek: "Why did the hot dogs cross the road?"

Carter: "I don't know. Why?"

Derek: "To get to the chicken on the other side!"

Carter: "That's not funny."