Sorry Gramma!

When we were at my in-laws house last weekend, Ben's mom reminded me that she hadn't seen any photos of Owen's 2nd birthday on my blog. Oops! Sorry Gramma! :-) Here you go.

Good Morning, Birthday Boy!

Here's the big boy's big day. We had a fun day at the Children's Museum in Saratoga. I had a blast making his cake. It's my new fun tradition to make a special cake for the boys' birthdays. I'm no expert and they certainly aren't decorated professionally, but it's fun to be creative, and the boys love them. As you can see, Owen loved his Wonder Pets cake.

Carter and I tried to teach him to put up 2 fingers...we'll have to keep working on that.

Playing at the museum in the trolley car

Wait a minute...can it be possible that my baby is really no longer a baby...but a full-blooded toddler? Say it isn't so! I know you're supposed to embrace every stage of life and enjoy it...but this time around especially, I'm finding it bittersweet. It feels like we JUST started having a family, and now to be at the end of that stage, I wasn't prepared for it to happen this fast! (FYI...that is what happens when you bring 4 children into the world in 3 1/2 years!) It doesn't fly...it travels at the speed of light...it zooms past and leaves you looking at a blur. Wow....

Owen was our bonus baby. We didn't ask God for him, like we did with his brothers. We didn't wait and pray and cry and hope for him, like we did with his brothers. In fact, a week before he was conceived, Ben was commenting on a shopping trip how full our van was with 2 year old Evan and the 4 month old twins and our groceries. I made some "funny" comment about how we could fit one more car seat in. Ben very seriously looked at me and said, "I don't know about you, but I'm done." I made some smart comment about how I thought married people discussed those things together before coming to such a final conclusion. :-) And life went on.

Weeks later, it was Christmas Eve and some of my family were at our house. Ben and I camped out on the floor in the twins' room. As we lay there in the dark, I was feeling not good, very nauseas. Now, we have a history in my family of getting sick on the holidays. I was bummed...I didn't want to be sick on Christmas. But maybe I would be ok, because I had kind of been feeling that way a bit lately, and hadn't completely gotten sick. Ben jokingly said something about me being pregnant. We both laughed....knowing the path we had walked to have a family...that wasn't likely at all. Two days later, our family guests had all gone and the nausea was naggingly there...all day. That joking comment stuck with me. Maybe I'll take a test just to rule it out, and then I won't have that on my mind anymore. I was sure it would be negative.

The boys were napping and I took the test. What? I couldn't believe my eyes, and I think I about fell over. Really? I was pregnant? But, I have 5 month old twin babies. I can't be! I was shaking. How was I going to tell Ben this? How would he react?

Well, he was in shock. In fact, he didn't believe me at first. He thought I was joking. I very seriously looked him in the eye and reminded him that we had 5 month old twins. Do you really think I'd joke around about this? That's when the shock set in. I waited to see his reaction. I asked him what he was thinking. He reassured me that he was ok...and how could he ever be upset that God would give us another child? I fell in love with that man all over again in that instant. We'd be okay. We didn't know how, but it would all be okay.

At the half-way mark, we had an ultrasound. It was unmistakable. We were adding another boy to our little brood. And then they told me that there was something suspicious on the ultrasound. There was a spot on his heart, which could mean he had Downs Syndrome. My heart sunk. Those next two weeks waiting to have another ultrasound at a specialist were hard. I did research online to educate myself and prepare myself. But that was hard to read. I tried to trust God and not worry, but the mother part of me was scared. I didn't know how I would handle it, if the news was not good. And if he was a DS baby, how would I care for him and my other boys...I felt so inadequate for the possible road I was facing. I knew I wouldn't love him any less....I just worried I wouldn't be enough for him...that a child with special needs would need a special momma, and I doubted my sufficiency for the task.

After a long time on the table, and lots of views of the baby, they determined that they couldn't find any more markers for Downs Syndrome. The spot appeared to be the only abnormality, and that made the likelihood of him having Downs very small. I was told to expect a normal healthy baby. Praise the Lord! He taught me a lot during those 2 weeks when all I could do was depend on Him. It was completely out of my hands, but I'm grateful Owen was never out of God's hands. And I know that had Owen been born with DS, God would have supplied the grace and mercy and strength to be the parents that Owen needed. And that little boy would be no less loved and adored than he is today.

Well, sticking to his m.o. as the surprise baby, Owen arrived 5 weeks early, 4 weeks before he was scheduled to be delivered by c-section. He weighed in at just 5# 10 oz and was 17.5 inches long. He needed oxygen for the first 24 hours or so to regulate his breathing. And then had to be kept in an isolate to regulate his temperature and had to be under the lights for his jaundice. He at least got to wear some cool shades. 6 days old, we took him home, and our home has never been the same since.

Owen is a delight, a joy, and I can so see why God ignored our plans and gave him to us. How could our family have ever been complete without him? Owen was the baby every mother hopes for...happy, content...and even yes, healthy. He's got a smile that melts your heart, and facial expressions that make you laugh, and is affectionate and loving. He's also all boy and can be quite the little monkey. He loves to sing and pray. He loves his brothers and is usually in their shadow. I often touch his sweet cheeks, look into his big blue eyes, and find myself in awe still of the gift of his life.

Ben put it perfectly when he called him the perfect surprise happy ending to our family. Sometimes when we plead with God for something, he says no, sometimes he says wait, sometimes he gives us what we want, and sometimes, we've discovered.....He gives us MORE than we ask for. So you see, Owen (O-Man as I call him) wasn't a surprise baby, or an unplanned pregnancy...he is a BONUS...an abundant blessing!