Love Yourself

Carter proud of himself after climbing the rock wall at Moreau Lake

Ok, sometimes, my need to be hugged or kissed doesn't necessarily coincide with when my husband's in a huggy, kissy kind of mood. I'm always in that kind of mood. He is not always in that kind of mood. After 12 years of marriage, we've got that pretty well figured out. There was a time when he actually told me to hug myself. Can't remember the circumstances, but he thought he was funny, and as you can imagine, I was NOT thrilled. I'm over it now, and occasionally since then, to be funny, he'll tell me to hug myself or kiss myself, (playfully of course....he knows not to say that seriously!). Actually in the last dozen years, Ben's become a much more affectionate person. I'm wearing him down..... oh I mean bringing out that side of him. :-) I'm assuming that Carter must have heard him say something like that at some point, or perhaps he really is just his father's son as I have asserted all along.

I was saying good night to Carter and Derek. I tucked them in and climbed in bed between them. A few months back they ditched their toddler beds and they share a full size bed now (which used to be our guest bed....now that we converted the basement to a classroom...we have no guest room. Now our guests get to sleep in a toddler boys' room with cars and trucks and motorcycles decorating it.) Anyhow...I did the usual....pretended to be a giant and said "Fe Fi Fo Fum. I love kisses...me gonna get some!" They pull their covers over their faces, and I pull them off and kiss their precious cheeks. Yes, it's a little strange, but they love it. In fact, as soon as I lay Owen's head on his pillow he says "Fo Fum!"

Well, Carter (our moody child) decided last night he doesn't like kisses (oh ya? too bad, I say!). I don't know what particular issue had him in a rotten mood, but instead of returning my kisses and big hugs and I love you's, he told me he didn't love me. What? Now, though it hurts to ever hear your child say that, I know from experience that it isn't true. Usually it's to get a reaction, or because their spirit is encumbered by the disease of a rotten attitude, usually inflicted by not getting their own way, or perhaps just because they are 3 and one never knows what a 3 year old is going to say. I told him how unkind that was, that he should never say that to anyone, especially his momma, and how hurt that made me feel. He said "I guess you're gonna have to love yourself." Ok, it's not cute or appropriate to be unloving to people, so I had to hide the smile that wanted to bloom on my face. I immediately knew which set of genes this boy is operating on!

Well, good news, after I scolded him for being so rude and told him I was going to go straight to bed and cry myself to sleep, and was heading out the door, his face lit up with a sweet smile, and he said, "Momma, I want to give you a kiss and a big hug." (He likes to play with my emotions...something I'm going to have to train out of him before he gets married someday!) And then as he was wrapped up in my arms, he said the most beautiful words any mother can ever hear......"I love you!" Good, I said, now I don't have to go cry myself to sleep! I love you too, my boy. Sweet Dreams.